Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts

Sunday, August 9, 2015

A Story of True Courage - 4 Ways to overcome challenges in the boxing ring of life...

Good Morning,

I wanted to share a story with you today of true courage that I'm sure will resonate with many of you who have experienced challenges and adversity in your lives.  For the past ten years the woman in this photo has been battling a non-malignant brain tumor that has taken her to various providers, through many surgeries, bouts of treatment, and has taken part of her physically.  During these difficulties she has remained a picture of strength, showed kindness for others, and looked for ways to reach out to inspire people in their own personal battles.

This beautiful lady (my wife) has shown me how to be a true fighter, and to learn how to break through barriers in our lives.  This journey has been difficult, but has provided the opportunity to grow by clarifying what matters in life.  



4 ways that I've learned from her to break through the barriers in the boxing ring of  life

Be Agile - When life is throwing punches your direction you have to know how to bob and weave, duck, and move around the ring.  Having the ability to change with the various challenges is vital to surviving.  Throughout the years I've seen my wife deal gracefully with being treated poorly at times, staying positive when answers were no where to be found, and continue standing after being hit by a sucker punch that her tumor was back with a vengeance.  Agility is a key component of overcoming the challenges faced when you've stepped into life's boxing ring.

Be Positive - Obstacles will enter into our lives without warning, and we must look at the situation with a hopeful perspective.  It's not an easy task, but holding firm to thoughts that there is the possibility things can change for the better will prevent a defeatist attitude.  During tough times make a list of the positive things in your life, and reflect on how great it is to have these passions, people, and purposes in your life.  When you look through a positive prism it quickly diminishes the size of the obstacle your facing, and you can get off the stool in the corner of the ring and continue fighting.

Be Generous - Meeting the needs of others is an effective way to minimize the negative introspection that can occur when facing difficulties in life that seem overwhelming.  By looking for opportunities to brighten another's day you can gain more than you give.  Generosity will mitigate feelings of sadness, and help to build your confidence that you still have something meaningful to contribute others.  What you have to give may be your talents, a trinket, or your time can create that fan base necessary you need to be successful in the challenges faced in the boxing ring of life.  By putting these valuable resources to use for others you'll be able to go the distance in the prize fight of your life.

Be Victorious - It's the final round, and you must come out swinging to win the fight.  Thinking like a winner will provide the energy necessary to throw the blows needed to knock out the challenges you're facing.  Having the right mindset is essential for becoming a victor.  The next time you face that difficult opponent (challenge) in your life you have to remember the strengths you bring into the Ring of Life.  If someone asked you about yourself could you tell them what makes you special?  To be a victor you have to know with confidence that you're a special person with something to offer this world.  When you step into the ring and can duck when needed, remember the past fights you've won, and believe in the strength you possess then you'll overcome the challenges facing you in boxing ring of life.


“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Live Happy - The 4 W's to make it happen in your life...




"Happineszs a state of well-being, contentment, a satisfying experience, and good fortune"(http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness)

Think about your life right now in this moment.  Are you truly happy?  Are you pursuing the things in life that add to your happiness?  Have you thought about the importance of happiness to our existence as human beings?  Finally, does happiness really matter?  I'd like to share the 4 W's that I believe are important to Living Happy.

Why Happiness?
Being happy is truly a mind, body, and spirit experience that has lasting benefits in our lives.  It has been supported by scientific research for many decades.  More recently scientific research is diving into the topic more with the changes in health care reform and the rise of disease.  What's evident  if you read any health or psychology articles is that being a happy person has a positive effect on our entire being.

Some of the research has shown significance in how happiness can create the following benefits:

  • Becoming a genius - Being happy may not get you to be a card carrying member of Mensa, but studies have shown clearly that happiness has some significant benefits to our cognition.  Some of these benefits include:
    • Improved problem solving skills
    • Greater imagination and thought production
    • Increased ability to assimilate new information - I was smiling and that's why I used those big words - wow it really works - Awesome!!! :)
  • Becoming an Adonis - Sorry to disappoint, but being happy won't make you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's identical twin, but it has been proven to have these helpful effects on the body:
    • Decreases the workload of the heart by lowering BP and HR
    • Decreases Cortisol (a hormone that exists to help manage our body's response to stress, but high levels of it are detrimental and cause decreased immunity, increased belly fat, decreased muscle, and decreased thyroid)
    • Decrease the risk of heart disease by limiting bad blood plasma like cholesterol
  • Becoming the Life of the Party - This could actually happen by being a happy person.  Studies show that people with the following traits are able to be more successful at creating meaningful relationships.  Those traits are:
    • Enthusiasm - nobody wants to be around Debbie Downer (except us SNL fans)
    • Gratefulness - understanding and appreciating the many good things in our lives.
    • Optimism - that glass is half -full I tell you - the ability to see beyond the negative
Listed below are some links to some good information about the benefits of happiness on our bodies, minds, and spirits.  




What Happiness looks like in action
In order to enjoy these benefits we must take action in our lives to "Be Happy - don't worry" - good song.  Seriously, it is important to understand some practices we can implement in our lives to promote the happiness that leads to our holistic improvement.

Here are the 3 G's of Happiness:
  •  Gratitude - Gratitude means thanks and appreciation.  It's the warm feeling you get when you remember the person who told you to drop your 1980's hairstyle and get with the new millennium already.  It also opens ourselves to new opportunities and possibilities.

  • Giving - Another way this could be said is being generous with your time, your emotions, and your finances.  When you give to another person it fills a special place in our hearts.  How did it feel when you gave an unexpected person something from your heart?  They smiled, and you had this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.  That may not be the scientific wording for that reaction, but you know what I mean.

  • Greatness - Not being a pompous jerk, but pursuing excellence in your own life that can positively impact others.  Having that drive to make a difference in this world.  This means taking action to look for these opportunities in your life, and knowing...


When Happiness starts to make a difference
Happiness will only occur when you decide to actually take action.  Then happiness can start to invade lives in a way that creates positive change.  When you walk down the street or through the office, do look for the opportunity to make another person's day?  How much effort does it take to say thank you or give a smile?  When you take the time in that moment it can make all the difference to both the giver and receiver.  So when should you start looking to make a difference?  Yesterday.  If I've learned anything from the privilege of helping hospice patients and their families, don't wait for tomorrow.  Therefore, just like any goal, we have to put a plan into action for success.  Here are some practical things you can do to start making a difference:

Three ways to put happiness into action:

  • Give your Mind - This means in all your interactions you need to be present.  Whether it's in your relationship or your friendship you need to give your attention.  This promotes happiness because you've just validated the other person's importance to you, and made them feel valued. Working on being a better communicator and listener in our everyday interactions can promote happiness.
  • Give Your Heart - Look for ways to put your caring for others into action without making sign that says, "See what I did".  When you look for opportunities to make others feel better it can create increased happiness and fulfillment in our lives.  Look for opportunities with your family, your friends, the person on the corner, or an official organization where you can give to others.  Do you remember what happened to the Grinch when he gave to the Who's?  Let your heart grow today as you give some of it away to others in need.
  • Give Your Hand - Scientific research supports the effects of human affection from the time we're babies in the nursery.  Without the touch of another human our growth and development become stagnate.  Therefore, having touch in our lives is important to building happiness.  As a staff nurse I always would get down to eye level with my patients, and gently touch there shoulder to let them know I would be there to meet their needs.  Each of us can do this each day with those we love, know, and meet.

Where Happiness can Grow

Being happy in life takes understanding why it's important, knowing what actions can produce the happiness we seek, how to generate happiness in our interactions with others, and finally we have to have a place where we can let happiness grow.


Here are 3 locations where you can let your happiness grow:

  • Place full of purpose - We each need to have a sense that what we do in our life makes a difference.  Being happy won't occur if you don't have a location for your happiness to grow. Is it the smile of my little 3 year old when Daddy comes home at night?  Is is your visit to a sick relative that provides them comfort as you sit with them in that strange place?  Or is on the corner in your car at the traffic light as you hand a dollar out your window to another person in need?  Only you know where that place should be for you, but to be happy you have to find that location for your purpose.
  • Place where you can grow - Each and every one of us need to and hopefully want to become better people.  To be happy in our lives we need to have a place that promotes our personal growth.  A small group, a friendship, and non-profit organization.  Or it could be your own routine of reading, meditating, or exercising.  All these actions provide the environment for you to grow and increase your happiness.  Look at your life today, and find that place you can grow.
  • Place where you can share - It is amazing to me that with so many people on the face of this earth not one of us is the same.  That's great news because we are all special individuals with unique gifts and talents that can be used to improve our life, and the lives of others.  Do you have a place where you share your gift?  Do you know what your gift is?  Most often your gift is that thing or things you do that come naturally to you that you enjoy, and can impact others positively.  Are you a great artist?  Do you have talent baking?  Are you a compassionate person that knows how to make others feel better?  Or are you talented at inspiring others to be their best?  There are a bunch of great books out there that can help with the process, and then you need to find a place to unleash your greatness on the world.
So are you ready to Live Happy, and make it a part of your everyday life?  Would you like to know of a place that might possibly be your opportunity to change your life and others?  If so, reach out to me about a great opportunity to make a difference... here's a sneak peek


           A Place to Make a Difference

Thoughts for the Day - Sometimes You Just Have to Jump


Hello and good evening,

What a picture.  I spent some time in the military, but never got the opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.  Life is like the back of the plane door going down because without that action the things outside don't come into view.  It is also that way for each of us because we can't make our lives extraordinary unless were willing to jump like the warriors.

I say warriors because these individuals have to be willing to sacrifice their safety, have a purpose our a goal they're pursuing, and finally use their courage to take that jump into an amazing life-changing experience.  Are you ready to make the jump tonight?  Are you scared about leaving the "airplane cabin" to explore new possibilities?  That's okay to be nervous and a scared, but don't let that stop you.  Even if the jump takes you off course to a new destination you made progress.  Good things won't happen in our lives if we're not willing to move forward and sometimes fall.  Just get back up.

"Success seems to be connected with action.  Successful people keep moving.  
They make mistakes, but they don't quit."

Come on, grab my hand.  Lets jump out the back into a new beginning.  If you're interested in an amazing opportunity the create your new beginning connect with me tonight 






“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, 
you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” 
― Maya Angelou


“It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” 
― Lou Holtz


“What you do makes a difference, 
and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” 
― Jane Goodall


“It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.” 
― Babe Ruth


“Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” 
― Leo Buscaglia

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Being Grateful - One of the Keys to Moving Forward in Life...





Gratitude - feeling or being grateful
How often do you stop throughout your day, and think about the good things in your life?  Completing that process is called being grateful.  One definition is “Having a sincere appreciation for both the people and possessions in your life”.  This feeling or emotion is often praised as the "father of all emotion".  I personally believe that most likely stems from the fact that every known major religion has an aspect of gratefulness in their practices.  Believers are exhorted to give thanks for the good in their lives, and in some faiths even in tough challenges.

Why does giving thanks matter?  That may seem like a silly question or not depending on your personal view of this emotion.  Either way, an attitude of gratitude has been proven to be a very beneficial component in the lives of people who remind themselves of the good in their lives.  There are a number of studies that support this concept, and have shown results that include improved health, mood, and better sleep all by saying thank you more often.

Wow!  So, how does someone start to increase the frequency of giving thanks?  I would imagine that each and every person reading this is thankful for many things in their lives, but may not verbalize that gratitude.  Taking the time to focus your mind, and really think about the good in your life is how outcomes improve according to these studies. ( http://www.socialemotions.org/page5/files/Bartlett.DeSteno.2006.pdf )

There are a couple of ways that you can experience the benefits of gratitude:
  • Every morning when you wake up say one thing you're grateful for in your life.
  • You can split up and say 5 things on one day as well.
  • When you return home at the end of the day write down how grateful you are for the events that occurred during you day.
Start small, and see how you feel.  Try doing it every day for one week.  Let me know how it goes.  The nice thing about gratitude or being thankful is it can be a two way street.  You can give and receive, and enjoy the benefits no matter what direction you’re traveling.  Take care.
Dave

Friday, April 24, 2015

Putting Empathy Into Action: 7 Ways You Can Promote a Caring Society




Empathy is a term that defines a person's ability to identify or understand the life challenges faced by another that promotes compassion and action.  Most research points to two specific types of empathy that are exhibited by the general population.  The first is termed "Affective empathy" which is the ability to mirror another person's emotions by generating feelings in response to the emotions they show. (ex. another person crying)  The next type of empathy is "Cognitive empathy" which refers to the mental ability to identify or understand someones perspective.

It seems crazy that we need to discuss why empathy is important in our world, but the lack of it has created phenomenal social problems that seem to be causing society to regress.  The main reason this may be occurring is because people either don't understand how to empathize with others or may not understand the value that empathy can generate when it is put into action.  Just as it was discussed above, there are two specific types of empathy that can be utilized to affect our interactions with others.  The first was an emotional or instinctive response, and the other was a cognitive approach by analyzing a situation before responding.  Therefore, people can learn to become more empathetic just like learning to solve problems or think analytically.  Here are 7 ways to start increasing our empathy.

7 Ways to Put Empathy Into Action:  

Awareness:  The first action is to begin observing others behaviors and emotional responses to situations.  This can be accomplished by understanding the importance of reading body language, and improving your non-verbal communication skills.

Imagine:  Have you ever tried to imagine what it would be like to be in another person's predicament, and how it may make them feel to deal with that situation?  Start trying to force yourself to see another individuals perspective or point of view that differs from yours, and why their belief may elicit specific emotions.

Don't Assume:  Isn't it an easy thing to jump to conclusions?  For most of us it happens without even realizing what we're thinking.  It may be seeing someone who appears very different than us, and we automatically conjure up thoughts in our head concerning what that person may be like.  Putting empathy into action takes curbing our natural tendency to look for differences, and replace it with a cognitive effort for finding commonality with those we meet.

Meditation:  This word can mean so many different things to different people.  The point is to take time every day to be introspective, and evaluate thoughts and actions to ensure you're acting with empathy to others.  This time alone can refresh and renew you as you go through your busy day, and help you remain focused on putting empathy into action.

Read:  Specifically reading fiction allows the mind to connect with emotions and feelings, and has been shown to be effective in increasing empathetic abilities.  As you read it allows you to connect with the characters in the book, and identify with the storyline.  That sounds very similar to putting empathy into action.

Enjoy Interaction with Others:  This can be the act of pursuing a hobby or even playing competitive sports with others.  Through the interaction we are forced to observe the other person's actions, attitudes, and responses which help to improve the ability to put empathy into action.

Philanthropy:  No, not giving away a million dollars to strangers on the street.  It is the act of putting yourself in a situation to give to others, and identify with their challenges.  It also provides the opportunity to experience that "affective empathy" more regularly when you create possibilities to put empathy into action.

When these actions are practiced on a regular basis we can experience and see the benefits that occur by putting empathy into action.

  • Generosity abounds
  • Prejudice is reduced
  • Relationships and intimacy improve
  • Aggression and violence decrease with more understanding
  • Equality between various groups of people increases
  • People become healthier by reducing stress and depression
  • Personal productivity increases with morale and better clarity
  • People are led to risk leaving their comfort zone, and do extraordinary things for others (ex - people hiding Jewish families from the Nazis in WW2 without regard for their own safety - Courage)
How can we create a more caring society that benefits everyone, and improves quality of life?  Putting empathy into action is a small step that each of us can take each day to start affecting relationships with others, our communities, and our world in a positive way that will lead to a better understanding of our fellow man.  Everyone starts a journey by taking the first step.  Step out today, and start looking for ways to increase your impact on others by putting empathy into action.
Take care, and I wish you all the best.

Dave

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Midlife Crisis Ahead - 7 ways to prevent a crisis through positive action...


So what is a mid-life crisis, and how can we avoid the perils it may cause in our lives to derail us from the goals and happiness we want.  Recently I've been focusing on ten thoughts in my life that are holding this crisis at bay, and are generating positive action in my life.


According to Wikipedia the following is true about a midlife crisis,

Midlife crisis is a term first coined by Elliott Jaques referring to a critical phase in human development during the forties to early sixties, based on the character of change points, or periods of transition. The period is said to vary among individuals and between men and women.[1] Despite popular perception of this phenomenon, empirical research has failed to show that the midlife crisis is a universal experience, or even a real condition at all.[2]

According to psychologist and writer Oliver Robinson, a life crisis is defined as a period characterized by unstable mental and emotional health, altering the course of their lives and affecting them for a year or longer. Life crises usually have similar characteristics for each age group. Those in the early midlife stage are more likely to experience the deaths of loved ones, while declines in physical strength and vitality and impending death or work stoppage are more likely to affect people in late midlife. Effects of crises vary from being beneficial to some and life altering in a negative way for others. About half the people studied found results of their crises to be positive.[3]

Midlife is also significant as a time adults come to realize their own mortality.[4] A mid-life crisis is experienced by some people as they realize they have reached a midpoint in their lifespan and experience conflicts or dissatisfaction within themselves because of unrealized goals, self-perceptions or physical changes as a result of aging or health issues.[5] Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions such as andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. Additionally, when experiencing a mid-life crisis, people may reassess their achievements in terms of their dreams. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in areas such as career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, finances, or physical appearance.


I'm 45, so I'm right in that perfect window to experience that famous midlife crisis.  I suppose it's only natural to look at your life because when you enter the middle portion of life there are numerous changes that occur.  I'm starting to recognize changes in my parents that make me realize that time is passing quickly, my body doesn't look like it did when I was running with a bunch of Marines in my twenties, hair is growing where hair shouldn't be growing, I've realized that I'm not that dumb young kid anymore that doesn't know anything because I know at least one thing, and for those of us with kids they're becoming independent as they ration their hugs and kisses.  At least some of your kids are becoming independent.  My three year old daughter thinks she is more each day, but I'm just contemplating how much Geritol I'll need to keep up with her as she grows. :)   Therefore, our lives are often referred to as races because we run through various stages, experience the highs and lows, and must possess both the right mindset and perseverance to finish the race with a sense of pride and satisfaction.



I'm not sure where you are in the age spectrum, but here are 7 ways that has helped me to continue running successfully through the middle stage of my life's race.
  • Stay Positive - Remember it's just a phase on life on your journey to a successful lasting legacy.  When you allow your mind to look at your current circumstances with a positive perspective, new opportunities can be realized that will propel your success into the next decades of your life.
  • Evaluate Your Successes - Everyone can immediately remember the times that they've failed in life, and sadly those events usually sit in the forefront of our minds.  To avoid succumbing to the challenge of a midlife crisis focus on your successes both big and small.  These events should help you remember the amazing journey you've had that has resulted in a number of achievements that should make you swell with pride.
  • Remember You're Important - This may sound strange, but think about the reasons why a midlife crisis may occur for someone.  What's the catalyst?  When we truly look at the cause it stems from a feeling of inadequacy.  Not just tied to your successes and failures, but sometimes a sense that you don't matter.  That's a bunch of @#$%!  Think about all the people in your life that love you.  Not because of what you've done, but purely because of the special person you are that brings joy to their life.  Focusing on how important you are will keep the crisis at bay, and should help you look in the mirror with a smile. 
  • Rediscover an Interest or Talent -  When life gets busy, as it does when you enter the middle stages of life, things you enjoyed doing sometimes fall by the wayside.  I remember as a kid my Dad would come to our sporting events, work in the yard, go to work, volunteer to be a part of a committee.  What I don't remember is my Dad getting to take many chances to play golf or go fishing.  Now that I'm at this point in my life I fully understand why because he was sacrificing those interests for the family he loved.  I'm sure we're all doing that, but we also need to remember what it's like to go back to that thing we once loved.  Taking time to sit a the piano, take out the sketch pad, play a sport you enjoy, or spend time in the outdoors may be some of the lost joys that need to be rekindled in our lives.  Preventing a midlife crisis can happen when we make time create the balance the play and work in our lives. 
  • Manage Your Stress - That seems to be a constant theme these days with the increased demands people are experiencing in their personal and professional lives.  Each of is very unique, and respond to the stress in our lives very differently.  The key is to find a healthy mechanism that fits your needs, and works to minimize the negative stress that is impacting your life.  Here is link to a couple of things that may be beneficial to you 4 ways using your mind can reduce your stress  and The story behind stress
  • Make a Difference - We all need to feel life our life means something.  That's the whole reason for the midlife crisis in the first place.  We get to a point in our lives where we question what we've done for others, for our community, and to make ourselves better people.  During the stage of life when these feelings and questions arise it's easy to dismiss any negativity if you're actively involved in making a difference.  That can be by being the most nurturing person you can to those important in your life, seeking out a cause that drives positive change, or work on your own personal development.  By becoming better people the other two actions will naturally occur.
  • Make a Plan -  It's like training for that 5k you want to successfully complete to prove you haven't become some tired old fart.  It will never happen if you don't figure out the time and effort it will take to realize your goal or dream.  Therefore, we need to make a plan of how we will navigate our race through the middle section of our life to avoid that looming midlife crisis.  Start thinking about the things that are important to you in your life or the changes that you haven't quite achieved.  List out these goals or dreams with a specific action of how you can make them a reality as you continue running your race.  Have fun, and start filling that bucket.  Races are much like life, there's a lot of anticipation and preparation that occurs for something that seems to happen so quickly if you're just sitting in the stands.  Let's hop on the track and make this a race to remember.

Here's some of the things that I jotted down after pondering how I've been running my race.
  1. I want to tell the important people in my life how much I love them everyday.
  2. I want to let my daughter know why making choices in life is so important to our futures.
  3. I want my daughter to know she will always have our love no matter what she does.
  4. I want to share with my daughter what I believe is true about hope, love, and faith.
  5. I want to challenge myself everyday to look for ways to impact the world positively.
  6. I want to show another person kindness everyday.
  7. I want my wife to know she is the glue that holds my world and heart together.
  8. I want to take risks even when those around me can't understand my hopes and dreams.
  9. I want to provide a positive interaction with every person that crosses my path.
  10. I want to write down my story, so my daughter will see the amazing joy we can have in life.



Thursday, February 26, 2015

Every Day in Every Way - Thinking Your Way to Positive Life Outcomes...

    


Seeing the Tip of the Iceberg

The iceberg is part of the beautiful landscapes that can be seen in the coldest oceans on the planet.  They are a magnificent sight to behold, but are very deceiving to the observer because so little is actually seen.  Most scientific research done on icebergs has revealed the actual size is much larger than what is perceived.  Actually, most research supports that only 10% of iceberg is represented by the tip.

Our minds form a similar framework in the origin of our thoughts.  The “Conscious” is that tip you see from miles away as you are steering through the channels of life.  The “Sub-conscious” is the other 90% that is unseen, and has the ability to alter your course by creating undercurrents in our thought patterns that immediately change our direction without any volition on our part.

The conscious mind processes thoughts with sequence, rationale, and judgments.  It is the portion of our mind that seeks to understand why, and determines the morality of our current perception.  Sigmund Freud was known as the “Father Psychoanalytical Theory”, and divided the mind into three distinct areas:


“If you can conceive it, and believe it, you can achieve it!”

Conscious – “The conscious mind consists of those things of which we are currently aware and to which we are currently attentive. The conscious mind also includes our current thinking processes, behaviors and environmental awareness. Hence, it can be obviously concluded that the conscious mind constitutes the major part of our current awareness.” 1

Pre-conscious – “The pre-conscious mind consisted of all those things of which we are aware, but currently are not attentive (Freud, 2002 revised ed.). He further conceived that we can choose to pay attention to these and deliberately bring them into the conscious mind. Finally, with respect to the pre-conscious mind, Freud believed that we can control our awareness to a certain extent, from focusing in very closely on one conscious act to a wider awareness that seeks to expand consciousness to include as much of preconscious information as possible.” 1

Sub-conscious - “The process and content are out of direct reach of the conscious mind. The subconscious thus thinks and acts independently (Freud, 2002 revised ed.). One of Freud's key findings was that much behavior is driven directly from the subconscious mind. This has the alarming consequence that we are largely unable to control our behavior, and in particular that which we would sometimes prefer to avoid. More recent research has shown that the subconscious mind is probably even more in charge of our actions than even Freud had realized Murphy, 2001).1  Freud also developed another theory that formed the vehicle for creating a link between the “conscious and sub-conscious”.  Freud's massive, overall theory on personality includes the Id, the Ego and the Super ego.
ü  The Id contains our primitive drives and operates largely according to the pleasure principle, whereby its two main goals are the seeking of pleasure and the avoidance of pain (Freud, 1962).1

ü   Freud goes on to say that it has no real perception of reality and seeks to satisfy its needs through what he called the primary processes that dominate the existence of infants, including hunger and self-protection. Unlike the Id, the Ego is aware of reality and operates using the reality principle. The reality principle implies that the Ego recognizes what is real and understands that behaviors have consequences. This includes the effects of social rules that are necessary in order to live and socialize with other people. It uses secondary processes such as perception, recognition, judgment and memory that are developed during childhood. The dilemma of the Ego is that it has to somehow balance the demands of the Id and Super ego with the constraints of reality (Freud, 1962). The Ego controls higher mental processes such as reasoning and problem-solving, which it uses to solve the Id-Super ego dilemma, creatively finding ways to safely satisfy the Id's basic urges within the constraints of the Super ego.1

“Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence is the key to unlocking our potential.”  W. Churchill


ü  The Super ego contains our values and social morals, which often come from the rules of right and wrong that we learned in childhood from our parents and are contained in the conscience. The Super ego has a model of an ego ideal which it uses as a prototype against which to compare the ego and towards which it encourages the ego to move. The Super ego is a counterbalance to the Id, and seeks to inhibit the Id's pleasure-seeking demands, particularly those for sex and aggression.1

The Link occurs when the sub-conscious absorbs information filtered through the parts of the personality.  The Ego is the “common sense” portion of the personality that can determine actions based on the judgments of the “super ego”.  There is a constant shuffle of information that occurs as perceptions formed by the personality are archived into the mind’s hard disk, the “sub-conscious”.  A good example of this process is learning to ride a bike.  To successfully ride a bike there needs to be a sequence of actions performed all at once.  Balance, speed, momentum, and judgment have to work interdependently to keep the bike moving safely down the road.  As conditions change, adjustments have to be made quickly to avoid disaster.  The sub-conscious alike quickly retrieves archived information, and passes it to the conscious so there is no need for a checklist to ride the bike.  Therefore, performance and behavior change are directed by the subconscious, and can be modified with the correct interventions which will create new perceptions. 

Creating the Pathway to Success

When people pursue their goals they need to believe in their ability to achieve success.  If they take action thinking their plan will fail, it most likely will.  The way to create a pathway to your success is by moving forward without the fear of failing.  Everyone knows there is always a chance of failure in anything we do, but where you choose to place your focus will determine your success.

There are volumes of research that has been conducted that proves the way we think can create varied outcomes.  Here are specific examples that show the power of the mind’s ability:
  1).  Drying Sheets - A group of Tibetan Monks meditation techniques were studied because they put their bodies in very difficult states for long periods, and appear to change their own physiology to achieve their spiritual goals. "In one of the most notable exhibits of their skills, a group of Tibetan monks allowed physicians to monitor the monk’s bodily changes as they engaged in a meditative yoga technique known as g Tum-mo. During the process the monks were cloaked in wet, cold sheets (49 f / 9.4 c) and placed in a 40 f (4.5 c) room. In such conditions, the average person would likely experience uncontrollable shivering and would shortly suffer hypothermia. However, through deep concentration, the monks were able to generate body heat, and within minutes the researchers noticed steam rising from the sheets that were covering the monks. Within an hour, the sheets were completely dry."2



2).  Multiple Personality Disorder - In one case, published by the American Psychiatric Press, a doctor noted how medications prescribed to a dissociative identity disorder patient had different effects depending on what “personality” took the drug. For example, when a tranquilizer was given to the person’s childish persona, it made the individual sleepy and relaxed. However, when the adult personality was administered the same drug it made him anxious and confused. Similar results were found with other patients and with a variety of different medications. Doctors even noticed visibly apparent traits, like lazy eye, would come and go depending on which personality was present.  This phenomenon is especially fascinating since no one, including the patients, is claiming mysticism is at work. On the contrary, it is a genuine example of the mind altering the body.2


3). Placebo Effect - A placebo is an inert substance or belief which produces real biological effects in humans. It’s so widely accepted as fact that a placebo variable is included in most medical tests as way of proving if, say, a drug works on its own merits or because people “think” it works. There are tons of experiments showing the proof of the placebo, but one of the most amusing to watch is a test done by a group of Princeton students who decided to throw a non-alcoholic keg party for their unsuspecting classmates. The experimenters secretly filled a keg with O’Doul’s (contains about 0.4% alcohol while regular beer has around 5% alcohol) and then watched as their peers acted silly, slurred words, slept on the ground, and generally acted drunk. Although it’s nearly impossible to get intoxicated on O’Doul’s, these college students had such a strong belief they were drinking standard beer that it affected their behavior.2

In addition to re-framing our thoughts, we must take specific steps while we travel down our pathway to success.  Here is the “step by step” process:

Mission - Have a purpose - 
Have you ever been on a sailboat or motorboat?  Now think of the cruise you were on, and what would have happened if these boats didn't have rudders?  It wouldn't have been too fun floating aimlessly out in the middle of nowhere with the challenge of getting back on course.  Each of us are unique individuals with special talents and likes.  Do you have a plan to merge those two things, so you can enjoy the life making a difference?  If not, I encourage you to sit down and write a list - (create your mission) - It's time to attach that rudder to your life.


Take responsibility for your life - 
Things will happen in life that none of us expect, but how we respond to these events can
determine what we achieve.  No excuses - the Marine Corps taught me a great saying -
"Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome".  Be a problem solver.

Believe in yourself -   
A large part of achieving things in life is having the persistence and perseverance
to continue on when no one is at your side.  The only way you can do this is to
wholeheartedly believe in yourself and what you have to offer.  If you don't, then no one else
will.    Start your day in the morning by exclaiming “I can, I can, and I can".

“The road to success is not a path you find,
but a trail you blaze.”  Robert Brault 

Have the Mind of a winner - 
Creating the mindset of a winner is crucial to making it through life's hurdles.  How do
you look at the world?  When I was a manager I always encouraged staff to think of the
possibilities, and bring me new ideas that would improve our situation.  I knew any dud
could point out the negative in a situation, but I wanted to inspire them to be innovative
and imagine achieving the prize.  It sure made for a better work environment where people
felt comfortable to share ideas and possibilities.  Make sure to take time for yourself each
day to stay focused - at least 30 minutes at a minimum.

Create a Personal Plan for Your Success -   
How many games are won without a plan? 
Zilch.  Setting goals is the key to being a champion in your life.  There needs to be a
defined concerted effort to making your mission a reality.  Is it a new degree, a promotion,
a personal relationship, or your health?  Whatever it is you need to do the following to
be certain you hit the mark:

Use the SMART method - specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time specific.
  • Set incremental goals - the first goal might be something that can be easily achieved, but then begin to stretch yourself making more challenging goals that keep your eyes on the prize of achieving your mission/purpose.
  • Keep track of your successes
Reaching the Peak

When a climber is standing at the base of the mountain the peak can appear impossible to reach, but if they begin to visualize themselves at the top it quickly becomes less daunting. The process of using positive affirmations to change your perception is a similar process:

  •     "Positive Affirmations", are short directed positive action statements concerning something you want to achieve or change like a certain mindset or behavior.  These statements are used for sub-conscious messaging.  The way the affirmation is constructed is extremely important for changing thought patterns.  The more motivated you are to alter your life the greater possibility you’ll have to make your changes. 

  •   How do affirmations work?  When you say your positive affirmation, the subconscious archives the information for evaluation.  There are only two choices the subconscious can consider, acceptance or denial.  The subconscious won’t evaluate the response, but merely go with whatever the most prominent inner voice might be concerning the issue at hand.  Therefore, when you continue to say positive affirmations you provide the playback the subconscious will use when responding.  As you use the affirmation regularly you should feel a sense of well being related to what you’ve been saying.  When this occurs the affirmation is working.


  •    How to use them?  Here is a list of tips to follow that will encourage your success:                           
-  Make it personal
-  Make it positive
-  Make it current
-  Make it believable
-  Make it simple

*Stand in front of the mirror using a confident voice and stance.  Say your
affirmations 5x for each one you’ve created both in the morning, and before you
go to bed at night.

  •      How quickly can you see results?   When you choose to say affirmations that have meaning and a purpose you can see results quickly.  If you’re thinking becomes negative when saying the affirmation your subconscious may be resisting the message.  When this occurs do the following:
  •      Releasing statements – There may be emotions of feelings holding you back.  Say something like, “I forgive, I don’t need to feel, or any statement that releases any sense of guilt or shame that might be stalling the process. 
  •      Becoming statements – “I am becoming”.  Sometimes people struggle with I am, so I am becoming can be more believable and unlock the subconscious ability to accept the affirmation. 
  •       Acknowledgment statements – This is giving yourself a pat on the back.  “I met my goals successfully, and I feel great”.
As you follow these steps for using affirmations you’ll feel and see changes
occur within the first 30 days.  Here is a list for your first month.  You can do it!!!
   
30 Days to a New Beginning

Go through the list and choose 30 affirmations that apply to the changes you desire to make in your life.  You can create your own or alter these if that helps.  Remember this is a process that you’re starting, and will need to stay motivated to create the Positive outcomes you wish to see in your life.

  • I have unlimited creativity, drive and motivation.
  • I am motivated to continue perusing my goals.
  • New opportunities are showing up daily and I am inspired to take action.
  • I feel alive, energized and motivated to take on any task in front of me.
  • Motivation comes easily to me.
  • Staying motivated comes easily to me.
  • Because of my profound energy, I achieve and exceed at all that I do.
  • I am so motivated that others get inspired just by being around me.
  • I attract those that help me reach my goals.
  • I am motivated and live my life to the fullest.
  • My life is full of purpose and motivation.
  • I have unlimited energy and motivation.
  • I am happy and motivated when I achieve my goals.

“You’ve got to win in your mind before you win in life.”
John Addison

  • l am easily motivated.
  • l easily stay motivated toward my dreams.
  • I stay motivated and energized when working toward my goals.
  • I wake up energized and ready to face the day.
  • I am confident in what I do and that keep me motivated to continue moving forward
  • I love myself and I am perfectly healthy.
  • Every cell in my body is health conscious. I am a health freak.
  • I am full of energy and vitality and my mind is calm and peaceful.
  • I avoid junk food. I eat healthy, nutritious food that benefits my body and large quantity of water that cleanses my body.
  • I think only positive thoughts and am always happy and joyous, no matter what the external conditions are.
  • I always feel good. As a result, my body feels good and I radiate good feelings.
  • Every day is a new day full of hope, happiness and health.
  • Good health is my birth right. I bless my body daily and take good care of it.
  • I am always happy, hale and hearty. Happy in spirit, hale in body and hearty in disposition.
  • I am of a strong heart and steel body. I am vigorous, energetic and full of vitality.
ÿ    Every day in every way I am getting healthier and healthier and feeling better and better.