Going Against the Grain - 5 steps to achieving your dreams...

Have you ever had a dream, a desire, or a destiny you felt pulled to chase in your life?  Most people will answer that question with an emphatic yes.  Have you ever had a dream, a desire, or destiny in life that you pursued even when it meant encountering problems and going against the grain?  The emphatic yes answers to this question often decrease dramatically because people lose sight of their dream for one reason or another.  It can be a challenge to accomplish your dreams in life when you're faced with difficulties along the way, but learning how to press forward past the obstacles in your path allows you to make the dream a reality.

Here are 5 steps to achieving your dreams:

1.  Clarify - The first step to achieving your dream is to understand it, have a plan to achieve it, and be able to clearly communicate it to others.  If you aren't clear on where you're going or what you're doing then it will be impossible to have other people see your vision.  Next you've got to be able to share it with people in a way that they can see and understand the vision.  You can't expect people to get onboard with something when they're confused by the message.

In my own life I've struggled with this because my mind functions in a weird way at times.  I generally have numerous thoughts or ideas running through my head, and when I'm in a conversation I'm often processing my next response before I've even completed what I'm saying.  My wife has been my help throughout the years because she has alerted me in the moment, so I can focus and complete my sentence or train of thought.  Therefore, you've got to be able to explain your dream, hope, or vision in a way that others can see and support.  Taking this first step will get you moving toward achieving your dream.

2.  Identify - Once you are able to state clearly to others your intentions for changing the world you'll have to be ready for their opposition.  What you do next is crucial to failure or success.  In those moments it's easy to lose heart when the people you love and respect in your life don't seem to support your dream, but before you become disheartened you have to be willing to identify the cause for their reaction.

Is this someone who may have a legitimate argument or a rational reason they're questioning your hopes and dreams?  There's two sides to every coin, and in life there are many ways to look at a situation.  Therefore, you need to consider what they're saying, and does it have any validity.  If so, does that mean you need to alter your dream or just decide to agree to disagree?  That is a question you'll have to answer for yourself.  Chasing your dream will be difficult, but when you can prepare for problems and be proactive, it's much easier to quickly avert disaster along the way.  Therefore, take the time when you encounter negativity on your path to vet it for validity, so you can continue moving forward on the path to achieving your dream.

3.  Isolate - Have you ever done Spring cleaning or just went through your closet to make a Goodwill trip?  Sadly, this also can apply to relationships in our lives.  When we chase our dreams in life there may be those who don't want us to succeed by either withholding their support or verbalizing their disagreement.  Even though we may have tried to understand and respect the other viewpoint, there are times when we have to stand up for ourselves by not being anyone's doormat.  At these times you may have to isolate the negativity in your life by cutting off communication, minimizing visits, or ending a bad relationship.  The negativity can kill your dream, and can be like sitting in a dark room that becomes lighter as your eyes adjust.  If you don't isolate the opposition to your dream, you may become convinced they're right and your dream will die.  Theodore Roosevelt put it nicely, "I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do!  That is character!" 

4.  Surround -  In order to stay on track in achieving your dream you have to avoid the negativity, but you also have to surround yourself with like-minded people who can understand your need to pursue your passion.  You have to find others who look at the world and it's problems as opportunities to make it a better place.  That requires finding avenues to fuel that smoldering ember within you, so that it can ignite into a raging fire that has the ability to burn fiercely in your soul until you achieve your dream.  Some of the ways that I find to stoke the fire are to join networking groups, to write a blog with the hope of inspiring others, to listen or read books that speak to my personal growth, and to seek out the chance to encourage others in chasing their dreams. 

5.  Push Forward - A dream will remain just that unless we take action to make it come true.  How will you do that today?  I just about let a dream die myself today because I wasn't going to take the action necessary to make it a reality, but then I decided to push through.  I know you have the same challenges.  Maybe it's trying to balancing your family life, responsibilities at work, and remaining healthy all while trying to find the time and the energy to pursue your dream.  To make our dreams a reality we have to dig down and push forward. 

In the Marine Corps we often called this intestinal fortitude.  Sounds insane, but I saw it first-hand as an infantry medic (Navy Corpsman) on a number of occasions.  Guys would be writhing in pain from the challenge they were facing, but looked deep inside to find the will to push forward.  All of us have that ability, but it's just finding how to dig down and release that energy.

One way to find that hidden reserve is to remember why the dream is important.  Why is the dream important to you?  Whose life is it going to impact in a powerful way?  If the dream dies who will miss the benefit of your vision?  Maybe it takes putting a picture on your mirror in the morning, or choosing a quote to put on your phone wallpaper, or choosing a phrase you can say during the day to keep you moving forward.  Somehow you have to use that special something that makes you see your dream everyday, and imagine how life will be for you and others when you finally PUSH Forward to make it a reality.

I hope and know we both have the ability to not only chase our dreams, but make them a reality that will change lives for the better.  Choose to go against the grain today, and achieve your dreams!

PS.

Here are some quotes from some other's that followed their dreams:

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.Henry David Thoreau

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars

to change the world.Harriet Tubman

No one has ever achieved anything from the smallest to the greatest unless the dream was dreamed first.
Laura Ingalls Wilder

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key.Lyrics from Already Gone, performed by the Eagles

for their 1974 On the Border album

Best Wishes,

Dave

Thoughts for the Day - Giving Makes All the Difference...

Greed, it seems like the driving force for so many individuals these days.  Today I read an article about Medicare Fraud perpetrated by three health care professionals that actually not only stole almost a billion dollars, but also hurt actual patients in the process.  It's sad that this was the motivating factor for these individuals to make money.  Making money isn't a bad thing at all, and can benefit the individual and their community if they choose to give back.  If our motivation is about giving to others, the world will benefit from our actions whether money is involved or not.  I hope today can be a day we GIVE of our hearts, minds, and wallets if you feel compelled to change your neighborhood, community, and world for the better.  Take care, and here are some thoughts on giving.

Dave

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”
― Mother Teresa

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
― Winston S. Churchill 

“You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet  

“For it is in giving that we receive.”
― Francis of Assisi 

“There is no better exercise for your heart than reaching down and helping to lift someone up”
― Bernard Meltzer 

Here we go again - Looking to make a difference in my community...

Good morning.  I wanted to share some news with those of you who read this blog concerning some new changes that I'm pursuing.  For the past year I've had the great opportunity to work in a hospital as a nurse care manager, helping patients and families transition back to the community.  During this journey I've had the privilege to work with an amazing group of people that are all focused on positively impacting others lives.  The has been only one drawback.  On numerous occasions patients and families have had to go back into the community without much support, and even less confidence.  These are the people that often come back to visit us, because of both the clinical challenges they're experiencing and lack of self-management skills.  I've tried to help a number of these people after they've left the double doors of the hospital, but it just seems to not work from the hospital.

Therefore, I've decided to move forward with my own efforts to make a difference by offering some services to support these individuals.  I'll be offering the chance for them to talk about their struggles, provide some coaching and insights, develop a tailored plan according to their desires and needs, and connect them with various resources in the community to minimize the disruption in their lives.  I'm wanted to focus my efforts on my local community, but have come to realize after talking to friends and family nationally that these issues have no boundaries.  That is why it will be my goal to not only be open to my own community, but hopefully be a resource to others elsewhere.

If you are having challenges knowing how to help your aging or ill loved one, you need a sounding board, or you could use some guidance then please reach out to me.  Right now I'm offering FREE initial consultations without any obligation for further services.

If this sounds like something that could benefit you or someone you know, please contact me today here on the blog, at www.mindwayssolutions.com, or at (253) 235-3272.  I hope everyone has an amazing day.  Take care.

 Dave

 

Live Happy - The 4 W's to make it happen in your life...

"Happineszs a state of well-being, contentment, a satisfying experience, and good fortune"(http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness)

Think about your life right now in this moment.  Are you truly happy?  Are you pursuing the things in life that add to your happiness?  Have you thought about the importance of happiness to our existence as human beings?  Finally, does happiness really matter?  I'd like to share the 4 W's that I believe are important to Living Happy.

Why Happiness?

Being happy is truly a mind, body, and spirit experience that has lasting benefits in our lives.  It has been supported by scientific research for many decades.  More recently scientific research is diving into the topic more with the changes in health care reform and the rise of disease.  What's evident  if you read any health or psychology articles is that being a happy person has a positive effect on our entire being.

Some of the research has shown significance in how happiness can create the following benefits:

• Becoming a genius - Being happy may not get you to be a card carrying member of Mensa, but studies have shown clearly that happiness has some significant benefits to our cognition.  Some of these benefits include:
• Improved problem solving skills
• Greater imagination and thought production
• Increased ability to assimilate new information - I was smiling and that's why I used those big words - wow it really works - Awesome!!! :)

• Becoming an Adonis - Sorry to disappoint, but being happy won't make you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's identical twin, but it has been proven to have these helpful effects on the body:
• Decreases the workload of the heart by lowering BP and HR
• Decreases Cortisol (a hormone that exists to help manage our body's response to stress, but high levels of it are detrimental and cause decreased immunity, increased belly fat, decreased muscle, and decreased thyroid)
• Decrease the risk of heart disease by limiting bad blood plasma like cholesterol

• Becoming the Life of the Party - This could actually happen by being a happy person.  Studies show that people with the following traits are able to be more successful at creating meaningful relationships.  Those traits are:
• Enthusiasm - nobody wants to be around Debbie Downer (except us SNL fans)
• Gratefulness - understanding and appreciating the many good things in our lives.
• Optimism - that glass is half -full I tell you - the ability to see beyond the negative

Listed below are some links to some good information about the benefits of happiness on our bodies, minds, and spirits.  

Happiness and health

Smile your way to happiness

Happiness and making a buck

Being mindful of happiness

What Happiness looks like in action

In order to enjoy these benefits we must take action in our lives to "Be Happy - don't worry" - good song.  Seriously, it is important to understand some practices we can implement in our lives to promote the happiness that leads to our holistic improvement.

Here are the 3 G's of Happiness:

•  Gratitude - Gratitude means thanks and appreciation.  It's the warm feeling you get when you remember the person who told you to drop your 1980's hairstyle and get with the new millennium already.  It also opens ourselves to new opportunities and possibilities.

• Giving - Another way this could be said is being generous with your time, your emotions, and your finances.  When you give to another person it fills a special place in our hearts.  How did it feel when you gave an unexpected person something from your heart?  They smiled, and you had this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.  That may not be the scientific wording for that reaction, but you know what I mean.

• Greatness - Not being a pompous jerk, but pursuing excellence in your own life that can positively impact others.  Having that drive to make a difference in this world.  This means taking action to look for these opportunities in your life, and knowing...

When Happiness starts to make a difference

Happiness will only occur when you decide to actually take action.  Then happiness can start to invade lives in a way that creates positive change.  When you walk down the street or through the office, do look for the opportunity to make another person's day?  How much effort does it take to say thank you or give a smile?  When you take the time in that moment it can make all the difference to both the giver and receiver.  So when should you start looking to make a difference?  Yesterday.  If I've learned anything from the privilege of helping hospice patients and their families, don't wait for tomorrow.  Therefore, just like any goal, we have to put a plan into action for success.  Here are some practical things you can do to start making a difference:

Three ways to put happiness into action:

• Give your Mind - This means in all your interactions you need to be present.  Whether it's in your relationship or your friendship you need to give your attention.  This promotes happiness because you've just validated the other person's importance to you, and made them feel valued. Working on being a better communicator and listener in our everyday interactions can promote happiness.

• Give Your Heart - Look for ways to put your caring for others into action without making sign that says, "See what I did".  When you look for opportunities to make others feel better it can create increased happiness and fulfillment in our lives.  Look for opportunities with your family, your friends, the person on the corner, or an official organization where you can give to others.  Do you remember what happened to the Grinch when he gave to the Who's?  Let your heart grow today as you give some of it away to others in need.

• Give Your Hand - Scientific research supports the effects of human affection from the time we're babies in the nursery.  Without the touch of another human our growth and development become stagnate.  Therefore, having touch in our lives is important to building happiness.  As a staff nurse I always would get down to eye level with my patients, and gently touch there shoulder to let them know I would be there to meet their needs.  Each of us can do this each day with those we love, know, and meet.

Where Happiness can Grow

Being happy in life takes understanding why it's important, knowing what actions can produce the happiness we seek, how to generate happiness in our interactions with others, and finally we have to have a place where we can let happiness grow.

Here are 3 locations where you can let your happiness grow:

• Place full of purpose - We each need to have a sense that what we do in our life makes a difference.  Being happy won't occur if you don't have a location for your happiness to grow. Is it the smile of my little 3 year old when Daddy comes home at night?  Is is your visit to a sick relative that provides them comfort as you sit with them in that strange place?  Or is on the corner in your car at the traffic light as you hand a dollar out your window to another person in need?  Only you know where that place should be for you, but to be happy you have to find that location for your purpose.

• Place where you can grow - Each and every one of us need to and hopefully want to become better people.  To be happy in our lives we need to have a place that promotes our personal growth.  A small group, a friendship, and non-profit organization.  Or it could be your own routine of reading, meditating, or exercising.  All these actions provide the environment for you to grow and increase your happiness.  Look at your life today, and find that place you can grow.

• Place where you can share - It is amazing to me that with so many people on the face of this earth not one of us is the same.  That's great news because we are all special individuals with unique gifts and talents that can be used to improve our life, and the lives of others.  Do you have a place where you share your gift?  Do you know what your gift is?  Most often your gift is that thing or things you do that come naturally to you that you enjoy, and can impact others positively.  Are you a great artist?  Do you have talent baking?  Are you a compassionate person that knows how to make others feel better?  Or are you talented at inspiring others to be their best?  There are a bunch of great books out there that can help with the process, and then you need to find a place to unleash your greatness on the world.

So are you ready to Live Happy, and make it a part of your everyday life?  Would you like to know of a place that might possibly be your opportunity to change your life and others?  If so, reach out to me about a great opportunity to make a difference... here's a sneak peek

           A Place to Make a Difference

Thoughts for the Day - Sometimes You Just Have to Jump

Hello and good evening,

What a picture.  I spent some time in the military, but never got the opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.  Life is like the back of the plane door going down because without that action the things outside don't come into view.  It is also that way for each of us because we can't make our lives extraordinary unless were willing to jump like the warriors.

I say warriors because these individuals have to be willing to sacrifice their safety, have a purpose our a goal they're pursuing, and finally use their courage to take that jump into an amazing life-changing experience.  Are you ready to make the jump tonight?  Are you scared about leaving the "airplane cabin" to explore new possibilities?  That's okay to be nervous and a scared, but don't let that stop you.  Even if the jump takes you off course to a new destination you made progress.  Good things won't happen in our lives if we're not willing to move forward and sometimes fall.  Just get back up.

"Success seems to be connected with action.  Successful people keep moving.  

They make mistakes, but they don't quit."

Come on, grab my hand.  Lets jump out the back into a new beginning.  If you're interested in an amazing opportunity the create your new beginning connect with me tonight 

http://nerium.com/join/doc8404

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, 

you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” 

― Maya Angelou

“It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” 

― Lou Holtz

“What you do makes a difference, 

and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” 

― Jane Goodall

“It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.” 

― Babe Ruth

“Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” 

― Leo Buscaglia

Focus is the key to success - Don't look down just hold on...

  

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

 “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” – Dwight Eisenhower

”Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” 
 Alan Lakein

“One reason so few of us achieves what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.” – Tony Robbins

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” 

Zig Ziglar

Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome... Going Beyond Life's Challenges

 

Good Morning,

Don't we all feel like were climbing a huge mountain sometimes.   I know I sure do when things don't seem to be going my way or unannounced challenges enter my life.  The big question for both you and me how should we respond during these times?

As some of you may have read on this site, I spent some time in the military with a good bunch of guys.  They were leathernecks, devil dogs, some may even call them jarheads, but they were resilient men who proudly held the title of United States Marines.  My experience with that organization formed much of my thinking about success and failure.  The Marine Corps had a motto that we lived by that was a commentary on how Marines are expected to deal with failure and challenges, "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome".

One of my many stories that illustrate this concept was when we hiked into the mountains of Northern California.  In a matter of three days we covered more than 15 miles, and ascended from 2,000 to more than 8,000 feet with a ton of gear on our backs.  It was a grueling hike that took its toll on many.  A friend of friend of mine became one of the many who emulated our motto on that trip.
It started a few weeks prior to this exercise when he had purchased some new boots.  Much like each of us who were with the infantry he tried to find a pair of boots that were comfortable and would hold up to the rigors of the field.  During those weeks prior to the trip he ran in the boots, bathed them in mud while on field ops, and generally did everything he could to ensure these boots would protect and sustain his feet.

Sadly, this wasn't the case on our winter wonderland hike.  His boots became cold, and lacked pliability.  His boots began to start creating little hot spots all over his feet that turned into horrible blisters.  When we were half-way through the hike he came and got me to check his feet because he was in a ton of pain.  We quickly pulled his boots off, and all I saw were blood soaked socks.  The entire bottoms of his feet were covered with open blisters.  I quickly dressed his wounds, and was going to put him in the hummer when he stood up and starting walking away.  This trip was a rite of passage for him, a chance to prove to himself he could overcome obstacles and deal with painful challenges.  It was his opportunity to live the Corp's motto and be successful.

I'm surely not condoning abusing our bodies, but making the point that in life you and I sometimes face seemingly unbearable challenges.  Like my friend, we too can "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" when we believe in our cause and in ourselves.  Thank you for letting me share, and ramble a bit.

So, how are you going to "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" in your life today?  Whatever it may be, you can do it by believing in yourself, and figuring out how to beat that challenge.
 
Here are a couple quotes for your day:

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

 

“if you set your goals ridiculously high and its a failure, you will fail above everyone else success”
― James Cameron

Have a great Day!

Thoughts for the Day - Empathy is the Key to Human Connection

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
― James Baldwin

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison  

“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”
― Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships  

 “I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself 

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”
― Theodore Roosevelt