A Roadmap to reaching your potential...

Good Morning,

I have a few questions for you this morning:

• What do you want to achieve in life?  big question I know
• How do you plan to achieve your goals or get to that desired destination?

The reason I ask is because I want to review Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, and how using some personal motivation that resides in each of us can help us achieve our goals and destiny.

The Pyramid of Needs

1. Physiological Needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sleep, and intimacy
2. Safety Needs - protection from the elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, freedom from fear
3. Social Needs - belonging, affection and love - from co-workers, family, friends, and lovers
4. Self Esteem Needs - achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, respect
5. Self-Actualization - realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experience.

What is the importance of the Pyramid in understanding how to reach our potential? 

Maslow believed that when needs are unmet people are motivated to achieve those needs first, and then seek to fulfill the higher needs - (ex. - starving people will do anything to satisfy that basic need because if they don't they won't survive)  I would hope that each of you reading this are meeting your basic needs, but this example creates a good focus for us and further justifies the thinking of Maslow.  The pyramid is just that -  A pathway of moving to a higher level of personal growth where we meet needs that either are central to our survival or will greatly enhance our human experience.

So where are you currently on this pyramid?  Do you want to find out?  Here's a quick quiz that will help:

http://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/tests/the-revised-maslow's-hierarchy-of-needs-test

Did you complete the quiz? 

Does it seem like an accurate assessment of where you're currently in your life?  If it is, but it's not where you want to be how are you going to change that starting today?  I want to provide some help in the form of an article you can read that outlines a process for you to start moving up that pyramid toward the goal of self-actualization.  Below is the link to the article.  I will discuss the article and provide some practical strategies related to the article in my next blog post.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Self-Affirmations

I hope this has been beneficial.  Please let me know because my goal is to provide help to people in achieving their goals for personal development and health.  Thank you for visiting, and have a wonderful day.

Take care,

Dave

​

I like the way this guy thinks... Insights from Steve Maraboli

Some of us are stuck in life because we hang on to the things in the past.  The author of these quotes has some amazing insights on how to free ourselves and our minds of this unnecessary baggage, so we can reach the peak of our life.  Don't just hang on today, climb the mountains of your goals and dreams.  You may have to drop your pack of regrets and sorrows, but won't it be worth it to enjoy the view at the top.  Take care, and have an amazing day.

Dave

"We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW wth the power to shape your day and your future." 

Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

"Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!!

Happiness is not the absence of problems,

it's the ability to deal with them."

Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

"Incredible change happens in your life

when you decide to take control of what you do have power over

instead of craving control over what you don't."

Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

"Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history,

but not a part of your destiny."  

Steve Maraboli

"At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets."

Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Thoughts for the Day - Looking for the Gold in Your Life

Sometimes it's challenging to see the positive things happening in our lives or recognize the good things that have occurred.  In those times we need to remind ourselves of the gold in our in lives.  The things that we treasure, and be grateful.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”

― Anthony Robbins

“It makes no difference where you go, there you are. And it makes no difference what you have, there’s always more to want. Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy because of what you have.”

― Zig Ziglar

“We all have a reason for living

I am blessed mine has two eyes a heartbeat and calls me mum.”

― Nikki Rowe

“I've started to look at life differently. When you're thanking God for every little you - every meal, every time you wake up, every time you take a sip of water - you can't help but be more thankful for life itself, for the unlikely and miraculous fact that you exist at all.”

― A.J. Jacobs

“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive,

to think, to enjoy, to love ...”

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

A Story of True Courage - 4 Ways to overcome challenges in the boxing ring of life...

Good Morning,

I wanted to share a story with you today of true courage that I'm sure will resonate with many of you who have experienced challenges and adversity in your lives.  For the past ten years the woman in this photo has been battling a non-malignant brain tumor that has taken her to various providers, through many surgeries, bouts of treatment, and has taken part of her physically.  During these difficulties she has remained a picture of strength, showed kindness for others, and looked for ways to reach out to inspire people in their own personal battles.

This beautiful lady (my wife) has shown me how to be a true fighter, and to learn how to break through barriers in our lives.  This journey has been difficult, but has provided the opportunity to grow by clarifying what matters in life.  

4 ways that I've learned from her to break through the barriers in the boxing ring of  life

Be Agile - When life is throwing punches your direction you have to know how to bob and weave, duck, and move around the ring.  Having the ability to change with the various challenges is vital to surviving.  Throughout the years I've seen my wife deal gracefully with being treated poorly at times, staying positive when answers were no where to be found, and continue standing after being hit by a sucker punch that her tumor was back with a vengeance.  Agility is a key component of overcoming the challenges faced when you've stepped into life's boxing ring.

Be Positive - Obstacles will enter into our lives without warning, and we must look at the situation with a hopeful perspective.  It's not an easy task, but holding firm to thoughts that there is the possibility things can change for the better will prevent a defeatist attitude.  During tough times make a list of the positive things in your life, and reflect on how great it is to have these passions, people, and purposes in your life.  When you look through a positive prism it quickly diminishes the size of the obstacle your facing, and you can get off the stool in the corner of the ring and continue fighting.

Be Generous - Meeting the needs of others is an effective way to minimize the negative introspection that can occur when facing difficulties in life that seem overwhelming.  By looking for opportunities to brighten another's day you can gain more than you give.  Generosity will mitigate feelings of sadness, and help to build your confidence that you still have something meaningful to contribute others.  What you have to give may be your talents, a trinket, or your time can create that fan base necessary you need to be successful in the challenges faced in the boxing ring of life.  By putting these valuable resources to use for others you'll be able to go the distance in the prize fight of your life.

Be Victorious - It's the final round, and you must come out swinging to win the fight.  Thinking like a winner will provide the energy necessary to throw the blows needed to knock out the challenges you're facing.  Having the right mindset is essential for becoming a victor.  The next time you face that difficult opponent (challenge) in your life you have to remember the strengths you bring into the Ring of Life.  If someone asked you about yourself could you tell them what makes you special?  To be a victor you have to know with confidence that you're a special person with something to offer this world.  When you step into the ring and can duck when needed, remember the past fights you've won, and believe in the strength you possess then you'll overcome the challenges facing you in boxing ring of life.

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

A Journey of Learning - The 5 P's You Need to Avoid Being the Next Failed Venture...

I wanted to re post this blog as a good reminder for me.  As you can see I took off a few months from writing to deal with some personal health challenges my family was facing.  During this time I also struggled with getting back on the horse.  Therefore, I thought it was good timing to remind myself about moving forward as I look to starting a new adventure tomorrow.  Have an amazing day, and I hope you can find something that is beneficial in this blog post.  Take care, Dave.

Have you ever been through an experience in life that stretched you to the point you wondered if you were a 70's icon toy like the "Slinky".  There are few journeys in life that have the ability to cause both rapid personal and professional growth like starting a business.  It's a self-discovery pathway that according to the current statistics has the high likelihood of ending in despair and failure. Why would anyone go down this path when there is so much negative data that supports the real possibility it may end in failure?   Reasons may vary, but for most it has something to do with solving a problem they've identified that can make a significant contribution to the world, provide more control over their life, or is just the best fit for their abilities and skills.

In order to avoid being that next failed venture there are 5 Keys to creating the possibility of success:

Plan - It seems like an obvious statement that you would want to plan if you were starting a business, but it's easy to get sidetracked and look at the shiny objects rather than sticking to the task at hand. Having a business plan built on market research is the first essential step if you have any chance of succeeding.  That means taking the time to ensure you have chosen a pathway that will solve someones pain or problem.  Once you have that in place you can begin the process of embarking on your journey of how you're going to ensure they know you have the answer to their problem.


Provisions - Sadly you're not going to get very far on your journey without that figurative gas in your tank (provisions).  When starting a business it's challenging to know all the financial obstacles that you need to plan for to be successful, but if you don't take the time to list out all your needs then the car isn't even going to start.  Therefore, enlist the help of a mentor, business coach, or financial analyst that can help you forecast your financial needs to both run the business, and survive yourself. Without both needs being met your journey will be extremely short.  This should be embedded into your business plan in as much detail as possible.  It also provides the ability to be more appealing to possible investors or qualify for lending for your start-up.


Promotion -  I had a very wise business woman recently tell me, "You can have the greatest product or solution in the world, but if no one knows about it then it doesn't matter".  Marketing and promotion is crucial to getting off the ground, so many new entrepreneurs try to do DIY (do it yourself) marketing, and often fail because they may not have the complete understanding of how to effectively reach their customer.  When starting out it's crucial to your success to hire a marketing consultant or firm that create a plan for your business.  Ensure that their plan encompasses all the pathways that are needed to promote your product to the masses.  One way you can save money is to try to find someone who can give you a package deal, and has the background to function in various aspects of marketing your product.  If you have other small business owners in your network, ask them for a referral to someone who is legitimate and trustworthy.


Patronage - I think one of the biggest challenges new business owners may agree upon is that a start up can be a lonely gig.  When you decide to go down this road you'll need to ensure that you have a supportive network that can provide both feedback and support.  It doesn't necessarily have to be your family and friends because realistically they are often the one's who want you to go back to punching the clock.  In most cities there are great chambers or small business networking groups that can provide this support, and completely understand your journey.  It is an important way to have access to great advice, and also keep your tank fueled when you feel like you're on empty.


Perseverance - Feeling like you're on empty happens to every new business owner.  The passion may fade as you struggle to get things moving, or you realize your finances are quickly drying up.  The road is a challenge, and therefore requires that you continually keep your head in the game so you can persevere.  It's easy to work all hours of the day, and be focused only on the business when you're first starting out.  Somehow you have to manage your schedule, so you have time to care for your body and mind.  If you don't get enough rest, exercise, or interaction with the important people in your life you may fall prey to the possibility of burnout, apathy, and ultimately becoming the next statistic in an annual economic report.

These 5 P's are my take on what is needed to help you with creating the possibility of succeeding in the first year of business when many others will go down in flames.  If you find that you've become one of the statistics take some time to complete a post-mortem investigation on your dead business. Don't forget that numerous successful people have already been done this road, but didn't let the failure be the end of their dream.  Therefore, do what you can to be vigilant and smart, and learn from the experience so you can have a successful venture the next time out.  I wish you all the best as you strive to make a life for yourself by meeting an unmet need the world wants to solve, and where you can control the flexibility and choice in your life.  Take care, and best wishes for much success.

Dave

Live Happy - The 4 W's to make it happen in your life...

"Happineszs a state of well-being, contentment, a satisfying experience, and good fortune"(http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness)

Think about your life right now in this moment.  Are you truly happy?  Are you pursuing the things in life that add to your happiness?  Have you thought about the importance of happiness to our existence as human beings?  Finally, does happiness really matter?  I'd like to share the 4 W's that I believe are important to Living Happy.

Why Happiness?

Being happy is truly a mind, body, and spirit experience that has lasting benefits in our lives.  It has been supported by scientific research for many decades.  More recently scientific research is diving into the topic more with the changes in health care reform and the rise of disease.  What's evident  if you read any health or psychology articles is that being a happy person has a positive effect on our entire being.

Some of the research has shown significance in how happiness can create the following benefits:

• Becoming a genius - Being happy may not get you to be a card carrying member of Mensa, but studies have shown clearly that happiness has some significant benefits to our cognition.  Some of these benefits include:
• Improved problem solving skills
• Greater imagination and thought production
• Increased ability to assimilate new information - I was smiling and that's why I used those big words - wow it really works - Awesome!!! :)

• Becoming an Adonis - Sorry to disappoint, but being happy won't make you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's identical twin, but it has been proven to have these helpful effects on the body:
• Decreases the workload of the heart by lowering BP and HR
• Decreases Cortisol (a hormone that exists to help manage our body's response to stress, but high levels of it are detrimental and cause decreased immunity, increased belly fat, decreased muscle, and decreased thyroid)
• Decrease the risk of heart disease by limiting bad blood plasma like cholesterol

• Becoming the Life of the Party - This could actually happen by being a happy person.  Studies show that people with the following traits are able to be more successful at creating meaningful relationships.  Those traits are:
• Enthusiasm - nobody wants to be around Debbie Downer (except us SNL fans)
• Gratefulness - understanding and appreciating the many good things in our lives.
• Optimism - that glass is half -full I tell you - the ability to see beyond the negative

Listed below are some links to some good information about the benefits of happiness on our bodies, minds, and spirits.  

Happiness and health

Smile your way to happiness

Happiness and making a buck

Being mindful of happiness

What Happiness looks like in action

In order to enjoy these benefits we must take action in our lives to "Be Happy - don't worry" - good song.  Seriously, it is important to understand some practices we can implement in our lives to promote the happiness that leads to our holistic improvement.

Here are the 3 G's of Happiness:

•  Gratitude - Gratitude means thanks and appreciation.  It's the warm feeling you get when you remember the person who told you to drop your 1980's hairstyle and get with the new millennium already.  It also opens ourselves to new opportunities and possibilities.

• Giving - Another way this could be said is being generous with your time, your emotions, and your finances.  When you give to another person it fills a special place in our hearts.  How did it feel when you gave an unexpected person something from your heart?  They smiled, and you had this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.  That may not be the scientific wording for that reaction, but you know what I mean.

• Greatness - Not being a pompous jerk, but pursuing excellence in your own life that can positively impact others.  Having that drive to make a difference in this world.  This means taking action to look for these opportunities in your life, and knowing...

When Happiness starts to make a difference

Happiness will only occur when you decide to actually take action.  Then happiness can start to invade lives in a way that creates positive change.  When you walk down the street or through the office, do look for the opportunity to make another person's day?  How much effort does it take to say thank you or give a smile?  When you take the time in that moment it can make all the difference to both the giver and receiver.  So when should you start looking to make a difference?  Yesterday.  If I've learned anything from the privilege of helping hospice patients and their families, don't wait for tomorrow.  Therefore, just like any goal, we have to put a plan into action for success.  Here are some practical things you can do to start making a difference:

Three ways to put happiness into action:

• Give your Mind - This means in all your interactions you need to be present.  Whether it's in your relationship or your friendship you need to give your attention.  This promotes happiness because you've just validated the other person's importance to you, and made them feel valued. Working on being a better communicator and listener in our everyday interactions can promote happiness.

• Give Your Heart - Look for ways to put your caring for others into action without making sign that says, "See what I did".  When you look for opportunities to make others feel better it can create increased happiness and fulfillment in our lives.  Look for opportunities with your family, your friends, the person on the corner, or an official organization where you can give to others.  Do you remember what happened to the Grinch when he gave to the Who's?  Let your heart grow today as you give some of it away to others in need.

• Give Your Hand - Scientific research supports the effects of human affection from the time we're babies in the nursery.  Without the touch of another human our growth and development become stagnate.  Therefore, having touch in our lives is important to building happiness.  As a staff nurse I always would get down to eye level with my patients, and gently touch there shoulder to let them know I would be there to meet their needs.  Each of us can do this each day with those we love, know, and meet.

Where Happiness can Grow

Being happy in life takes understanding why it's important, knowing what actions can produce the happiness we seek, how to generate happiness in our interactions with others, and finally we have to have a place where we can let happiness grow.

Here are 3 locations where you can let your happiness grow:

• Place full of purpose - We each need to have a sense that what we do in our life makes a difference.  Being happy won't occur if you don't have a location for your happiness to grow. Is it the smile of my little 3 year old when Daddy comes home at night?  Is is your visit to a sick relative that provides them comfort as you sit with them in that strange place?  Or is on the corner in your car at the traffic light as you hand a dollar out your window to another person in need?  Only you know where that place should be for you, but to be happy you have to find that location for your purpose.

• Place where you can grow - Each and every one of us need to and hopefully want to become better people.  To be happy in our lives we need to have a place that promotes our personal growth.  A small group, a friendship, and non-profit organization.  Or it could be your own routine of reading, meditating, or exercising.  All these actions provide the environment for you to grow and increase your happiness.  Look at your life today, and find that place you can grow.

• Place where you can share - It is amazing to me that with so many people on the face of this earth not one of us is the same.  That's great news because we are all special individuals with unique gifts and talents that can be used to improve our life, and the lives of others.  Do you have a place where you share your gift?  Do you know what your gift is?  Most often your gift is that thing or things you do that come naturally to you that you enjoy, and can impact others positively.  Are you a great artist?  Do you have talent baking?  Are you a compassionate person that knows how to make others feel better?  Or are you talented at inspiring others to be their best?  There are a bunch of great books out there that can help with the process, and then you need to find a place to unleash your greatness on the world.

So are you ready to Live Happy, and make it a part of your everyday life?  Would you like to know of a place that might possibly be your opportunity to change your life and others?  If so, reach out to me about a great opportunity to make a difference... here's a sneak peek

           A Place to Make a Difference

Being Grateful - One of the Keys to Moving Forward in Life...

Gratitude - feeling or being grateful

How often do you stop throughout your day, and think about the good things in your life?  Completing that process is called being grateful.  One definition is “Having a sincere appreciation for both the people and possessions in your life”.  This feeling or emotion is often praised as the "father of all emotion".  I personally believe that most likely stems from the fact that every known major religion has an aspect of gratefulness in their practices.  Believers are exhorted to give thanks for the good in their lives, and in some faiths even in tough challenges.

Why does giving thanks matter?  That may seem like a silly question or not depending on your personal view of this emotion.  Either way, an attitude of gratitude has been proven to be a very beneficial component in the lives of people who remind themselves of the good in their lives.  There are a number of studies that support this concept, and have shown results that include improved health, mood, and better sleep all by saying thank you more often.

Wow!  So, how does someone start to increase the frequency of giving thanks?  I would imagine that each and every person reading this is thankful for many things in their lives, but may not verbalize that gratitude.  Taking the time to focus your mind, and really think about the good in your life is how outcomes improve according to these studies. ( http://www.socialemotions.org/page5/files/Bartlett.DeSteno.2006.pdf )

There are a couple of ways that you can experience the benefits of gratitude:

• Every morning when you wake up say one thing you're grateful for in your life.

• You can split up and say 5 things on one day as well.

• When you return home at the end of the day write down how grateful you are for the events that occurred during you day.

Start small, and see how you feel.  Try doing it every day for one week.  Let me know how it goes.  The nice thing about gratitude or being thankful is it can be a two way street.  You can give and receive, and enjoy the benefits no matter what direction you’re traveling.  Take care.

Dave

Am I losing my mind? - A new breakthrough for many...

Am I losing my mind?  Sadly this often is a question that may be fearfully muttered under the breath of many people.  Maybe its' following a stroke, a traumatic brain injury, a debilitating neurological causing havoc, or the effects that occur after brain surgery.

For years I have had the experience of both personally and professionally dealing with the effects caused by changes that occur when the brain experiences changes in it's function.  It's a difficult thing for any of us to see that person we love slip away, and feel helpless to intervene.  Currently the incidence of both Alzheimer's and Dementia continue to grow each day with our ever-increasing aging population.  In my work with hospice I see and help people that have come to the end of this journey after trying numerous ineffective treatments.  Many of us that have a had a personal experience may ask why or how this happens?  Understanding a challenge is the first step in trying to create a plan to achieve success over the struggle you face.

Brain 101 - A layman's approach to understanding how our brain works

Therefore, how does the brain function and what happens to create the pathway for the onset of both Dementia and Alzheimer's?  First, let's look at what are the parts of our brain and their importance to our cognition and function.

• The cerebrum is the major portion of your brain.  It provides the resource to help with memory, problem solving, thinking, feeling, and controls the body's movement.

• The cerebellum is at the back of your brain under the cerebrum and helps you stand steady while you perform physical actions.

• The brain stem is below you cerebrum and in front of your cerebellum, and connects the brain to the spinal cord.  It is the source of life because it controls our automatic functions that allow us to breath, have a beating heart,  and aids in digestion.

• The brain functions as a result of being nourished with a network of blood vessels that include capillaries, veins, and arteries.  Without the oxygen rich blood the brain cannot exist.

• Next is the squiggly grey matter we see called the cortex.  It is the outermost portion of the cerebrum and is responsible for:

• Sensations - sight, sound, and smell

• Is the problem solving resource 

• Creates and stores memories

• Controls voluntary movement

• Our brains are also divided into two parts called hemispheres - The right and left - the control the opposing side of the body - the left brain is where the conversation truly begins.

• The next portion of the brain is the pathway to action and thought.  Our brains contain billions of little nerve cells called neurons.  These are responsible for transferring information that results in action.  It is this selected pathway that is attacked when a person has Alzheimer's. These cells are joined together, and go into action when an electrical charge is received that releases a chemical.  These chemicals are called neurotransmitters and are the brains messages to create responses in the body. These responses are recorded at the cellular level, and store our memories and thoughts.

  

A Thief in the Night

Alzheimer's is that robber that steals our mind by causing the destruction of those small nerve cells.  As the disease progresses the brain actually reduces in size, and inhibits most every function of the brain.  In the Alzheimer's brain:

• The cortex will shrivel up causing damage to the areas that involve thinking, planning, and memory.
• The shrinkage occurs mainly in the hippo-campus which is the most significant center for memory in the brain.
• Finally, the ventricles in the brain grow larger.

As a result:

• The tissue of a brain with Alzheimer's has fewer nerve cells than a healthy brain.
• Plaque and clusters of protein fragments build up more rapidly between cells blocking the pathways
• The dead and dying cells create structures called tangles that inhibit brain function.

Scientists don't have a specific cause yet for why this occurs in the brains of people with Alzheimer's, but the tangles and plaques are the possible suspects.  Once a person is diagnosed with Alzheimer's the course of the disease is thought to last from 8 to 20 years.  Much like other diseases there is a progression in the severity and symptoms:

• Early stage disease causes effects to occur generally 20 years before it may even be officially diagnosed.  In this phase people experience changes in their memory and problem solving abilities.

• In mild to moderate stages, which lasts 2 to 10 years, the impacts continue creating social challenges because of their increasing confusion.

• The final stage of Alzheimer's may last from 1 to 5 years and causes the brain to shrink which creates the inability to communicate, and most often these people can no longer recognize their own family.

Alzheimer's truly acts as that thief in the night that sneaks into your life, and robs you of your life without much warning.  With such a tragic and stealthy disease it's imperative to do whatever we can as people to protect against losing our mind.  Thankfully, there is some hope on the horizon. 

 

The Key to Unlocking a Better Tomorrow

Currently there are many drugs out there that are being used to help manage the diseaseprocess, but they often are the culprit of causing side effects without much of a result. Thankfully there is something on the horizon that is fast approaching.  

Take a peek at how it works...

The regeneration of our mind

Now think about a world where people wouldn't have to be fearful of aging, and quietly questioning if there losing their mind.  It's time to tackle these degenerative diseases that are causing havoc on so many lives.  Let's take control today.  Join me in preventing that next family from suffering the affects of their loved one's loss in cognition.  

Contact me today to get involved.  Take care, Dave.

Midlife Crisis Ahead - 7 ways to prevent a crisis through positive action...

So what is a mid-life crisis, and how can we avoid the perils it may cause in our lives to derail us from the goals and happiness we want.  Recently I've been focusing on ten thoughts in my life that are holding this crisis at bay, and are generating positive action in my life.

According to Wikipedia the following is true about a midlife crisis,

Midlife crisis is a term first coined by Elliott Jaques referring to a critical phase in human development during the forties to early sixties, based on the character of change points, or periods of transition. The period is said to vary among individuals and between men and women.^[1] Despite popular perception of this phenomenon, empirical research has failed to show that the midlife crisis is a universal experience, or even a real condition at all.^[2]

According to psychologist and writer Oliver Robinson, a life crisis is defined as a period characterized by unstable mental and emotional health, altering the course of their lives and affecting them for a year or longer. Life crises usually have similar characteristics for each age group. Those in the early midlife stage are more likely to experience the deaths of loved ones, while declines in physical strength and vitality and impending death or work stoppage are more likely to affect people in late midlife. Effects of crises vary from being beneficial to some and life altering in a negative way for others. About half the people studied found results of their crises to be positive.^[3]

Midlife is also significant as a time adults come to realize their own mortality.^[4] A mid-life crisis is experienced by some people as they realize they have reached a midpoint in their lifespan and experience conflicts or dissatisfaction within themselves because of unrealized goals, self-perceptions or physical changes as a result of aging or health issues.^[5] Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions such as andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. Additionally, when experiencing a mid-life crisis, people may reassess their achievements in terms of their dreams. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in areas such as career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, finances, or physical appearance.

I'm 45, so I'm right in that perfect window to experience that famous midlife crisis.  I suppose it's only natural to look at your life because when you enter the middle portion of life there are numerous changes that occur.  I'm starting to recognize changes in my parents that make me realize that time is passing quickly, my body doesn't look like it did when I was running with a bunch of Marines in my twenties, hair is growing where hair shouldn't be growing, I've realized that I'm not that dumb young kid anymore that doesn't know anything because I know at least one thing, and for those of us with kids they're becoming independent as they ration their hugs and kisses.  At least some of your kids are becoming independent.  My three year old daughter thinks she is more each day, but I'm just contemplating how much Geritol I'll need to keep up with her as she grows. :)   Therefore, our lives are often referred to as races because we run through various stages, experience the highs and lows, and must possess both the right mindset and perseverance to finish the race with a sense of pride and satisfaction.

I'm not sure where you are in the age spectrum, but here are 7 ways that has helped me to continue running successfully through the middle stage of my life's race.

• Stay Positive - Remember it's just a phase on life on your journey to a successful lasting legacy.  When you allow your mind to look at your current circumstances with a positive perspective, new opportunities can be realized that will propel your success into the next decades of your life.

• Evaluate Your Successes - Everyone can immediately remember the times that they've failed in life, and sadly those events usually sit in the forefront of our minds.  To avoid succumbing to the challenge of a midlife crisis focus on your successes both big and small.  These events should help you remember the amazing journey you've had that has resulted in a number of achievements that should make you swell with pride.

• Remember You're Important - This may sound strange, but think about the reasons why a midlife crisis may occur for someone.  What's the catalyst?  When we truly look at the cause it stems from a feeling of inadequacy.  Not just tied to your successes and failures, but sometimes a sense that you don't matter.  That's a bunch of @#$%!  Think about all the people in your life that love you.  Not because of what you've done, but purely because of the special person you are that brings joy to their life.  Focusing on how important you are will keep the crisis at bay, and should help you look in the mirror with a smile. 

• Rediscover an Interest or Talent -  When life gets busy, as it does when you enter the middle stages of life, things you enjoyed doing sometimes fall by the wayside.  I remember as a kid my Dad would come to our sporting events, work in the yard, go to work, volunteer to be a part of a committee.  What I don't remember is my Dad getting to take many chances to play golf or go fishing.  Now that I'm at this point in my life I fully understand why because he was sacrificing those interests for the family he loved.  I'm sure we're all doing that, but we also need to remember what it's like to go back to that thing we once loved.  Taking time to sit a the piano, take out the sketch pad, play a sport you enjoy, or spend time in the outdoors may be some of the lost joys that need to be rekindled in our lives.  Preventing a midlife crisis can happen when we make time create the balance the play and work in our lives. 

• Manage Your Stress - That seems to be a constant theme these days with the increased demands people are experiencing in their personal and professional lives.  Each of is very unique, and respond to the stress in our lives very differently.  The key is to find a healthy mechanism that fits your needs, and works to minimize the negative stress that is impacting your life.  Here is link to a couple of things that may be beneficial to you 4 ways using your mind can reduce your stress  and The story behind stress

• Make a Difference - We all need to feel life our life means something.  That's the whole reason for the midlife crisis in the first place.  We get to a point in our lives where we question what we've done for others, for our community, and to make ourselves better people.  During the stage of life when these feelings and questions arise it's easy to dismiss any negativity if you're actively involved in making a difference.  That can be by being the most nurturing person you can to those important in your life, seeking out a cause that drives positive change, or work on your own personal development.  By becoming better people the other two actions will naturally occur.

• Make a Plan -  It's like training for that 5k you want to successfully complete to prove you haven't become some tired old fart.  It will never happen if you don't figure out the time and effort it will take to realize your goal or dream.  Therefore, we need to make a plan of how we will navigate our race through the middle section of our life to avoid that looming midlife crisis.  Start thinking about the things that are important to you in your life or the changes that you haven't quite achieved.  List out these goals or dreams with a specific action of how you can make them a reality as you continue running your race.  Have fun, and start filling that bucket.  Races are much like life, there's a lot of anticipation and preparation that occurs for something that seems to happen so quickly if you're just sitting in the stands.  Let's hop on the track and make this a race to remember.

Here's some of the things that I jotted down after pondering how I've been running my race.

1. I want to tell the important people in my life how much I love them everyday.
2. I want to let my daughter know why making choices in life is so important to our futures.
3. I want my daughter to know she will always have our love no matter what she does.
4. I want to share with my daughter what I believe is true about hope, love, and faith.
5. I want to challenge myself everyday to look for ways to impact the world positively.
6. I want to show another person kindness everyday.
7. I want my wife to know she is the glue that holds my world and heart together.
8. I want to take risks even when those around me can't understand my hopes and dreams.
9. I want to provide a positive interaction with every person that crosses my path.
10. I want to write down my story, so my daughter will see the amazing joy we can have in life.