All people want to achieve some form of success in their
life. Even though the definition of that success may vary for each
individual, the road to achieve that personal milestone is the same.
Obtaining the success you desire involves a series of actions or 4
"steps" that are controlled by our thought patterns and the mindset you
choose.
1. Develop Emotional Intelligence
In order to effectively develop a mindset for success you have to control the
factors that may influence or impact that desired outcome. One ingredient
necessary to achieving success is your aptitude for being emotionally
intelligent. That is the way a person
observes, assesses, prioritizes, and responds to the emotions encountered
daily. When someone can successfully
control his or her reactions to the stimuli that affect emotions then he or she:
- Becomes a better
team player through improved communication.
- Increases empathy
and understanding for others through active listening.
- Asserts and
proactively says no negative to being impacted by negativity.
- Delivers confident decisions in tune with his or her intuition.
Sounds like a smooth transformation, but managing emotions can be very
challenging. Some individuals allow emotion
to affect responses like a rudderless ship adrift in a stormy sea. It is not until a person learns to harness
the power of emotions that the ship is able to reach the chosen
destination. This list is actions that a
person who possesses a high level of emotional intelligence exhibits:
- They remain calm and assess the quality of their emotions.
- They take time to understand the causal effect behind the way they’re
feeling.
- They evaluate the
validity of their feelings with a rational barometer.
- They use a
retrospective viewpoint to ensure consistency in their response.
- They identify the
triggers that were the precursors for their stress.
- They capture the
moment by using a journal to track frequency of feelings.
- Finally, they
assert control rather than becoming a victim to their emotions.
When you begin to implement these practices you’ll improve your
emotional ability, and be more effective in using the appropriate emotional
responses with others. Then you’ll take
the next step on your journey to achieving your mindset of success. You’ll realize you are growing personally and
professionally, and you can be more reliant in pursuing your hopes and
dreams.
2. Be Self - Reliant
According to Merriam and Webster, "Self Reliance is being reliant on one's
own efforts and abilities". The pursuit of your own ideas and dreams can be a difficult road fraught
with negativity, but by ignoring damaging opinions you demonstrate your ability
to have the internal strength necessary to achieve your dreams. The second step in creating your mindset for
success occurs when you:
- Believe
that you have something to offer the world - A self-reliant person is able to see the
value they hold because they have self-esteem. Therefore, they are able
to deflect negative things said or done to them because those aren't the images
they see in the mirror.
- Are Confident in your ability to generate things that hold
meaning and value - A self reliant
person will be that inventor or leader that might go against the grain
because in addition to their self esteem they are self confident about
their talents and abilities. They believe they have what it takes to
get the job done.
- Aren't swayed by negativity - Self reliant people can see the
positive in situations because they look at life as a bunch of
untapped possibilities. They take full responsibility for their
lives and don't play the victim role.
- Are Willing
to forge the trail alone
- With the world view that possibilities exist, it's not much of a leap
for the self reliant person to pursue their dreams even if they have to
deal with naysayers. Their goal is to determine their happiness, and
create the life they desire.
- Enjoy collaboration and promote team success - The self reliant person is a good team
player because their goal in collaboration is the same for others as for
themselves. They want people to make the most of their lives, and
achieve their hopes and dreams. Therefore, they willingly offer
their support to ensure the success of the team.
- Seek counsel if needed because you understand you don't know everything - Self reliant people are able to search out counsel when
needed to support their success. There is a huge difference between
healthy self confidence and arrogance, and the self reliant person
understands the wisdom at being able to see an issue from a variety of
angles creates the best outcome possible.
- Continue to look for opportunities to learn and improve - Learning and improving is a process
that never ends. Self reliant people
pursue opportunities to increase their knowledge and skills
because they understand it's the only way to stay ahead of the curve,
remain relevant, and support their independence.
How can you develop your self reliance, so that you can create a
mindset for success?
- Make a list of your abilities, knowledge, and skills.
Seeing it on paper will help you realize what you have to offer.
- Create a list of ideas you have that you would like to
pursue at your job or in your life. Take the idea a step further by
plotting out a start to finish algorithm.
- How do you look at life? Start each day by choosing
one positive quote that you can focus on throughout the day. Use
positive talk to reinforce your self esteem and confidence. Be
grateful.
- Don't allow others to crush your dreams. Write down
five goals that you want to accomplish. Use the smart method - specific,
measurable, achievable, realistic, and time specific. Put this
list where you can see it daily. Stay focused, and reduce your
interactions with any naysayers if you're unable to sway their negativity.
- Look
for opportunities to be a giver. Add to the collaborative process.
Share your special knowledge or talent to improve the process, and
create a win-win for all involved.
- Do
you have a mentor or someone that you can turn to for advice? Make
your own decisions, but cultivate a relationship with someone who will
give you honest feedback concerning your thought process on ideas/projects
you're pursuing.
- When
was the last time you took a class, read a book, or watched a webinar
focused on improving your personal and professional skills? Choose 1
thing you will do each month to increase your knowledge or skills.
You're on your way to creating your "Mindset for
Success". The biggest determiner of your success is your willingness
to do whatever it takes to achieve that definition of success you've created
for yourself. Along the road, help others to catch your vision and
encourage them to pursue their hopes and dreams. If you start taking
these steps you'll soon be on your way to ensuring you have the mindset to win.
Take care, and have a great day.
3. Develop a Purpose
The reason for which anything is done, created, or exists. In
order to create a mindset for success you must have a purpose. A purpose
gives you direction, a reason to get out of bed, and can ignite a passion in
you and others around you. So, do you have a purpose? How do you
know?
Most people in this world have a purpose, but may not think of
it as some big philosophical issue to discuss. A good example may be a
parent. They may have other things in life that drive them and take their
time, but providing for their child's needs is the driving purpose for all they
do. How do you choose your purpose? Often people experience the
opposite where they feel like they've been born with a purpose, something they
have to do in their lives that will make an impact.
How do you either find your purpose or develop one if it seems
to be a lacking piece of the puzzle for you? It's a very similar process
to goal setting. Here are some tips you can use to get start:
- What are the things that are important to you in life?
- How do you look at the world?
- Are there things you enjoy doing that bring joy to your
life?
- Can you think of some current challenges that you'd like
to help solve?
Take a piece of paper and start answering these questions.
Start to filter your answers for similarities. Then prioritize
what's left with what's most important to you. Hopefully you should have
something written down that makes you feel passionate and excited. Now
you have your purpose, but a purpose without action doesn't accomplish
anything.
So let's look at an example of how we could make this process
work:
- First of all I want to be successful in my life, which
means having a career I enjoy, family and friends that I care about, and a
cause that improves the lives of others. Also, I'd like to make some
money to be able to take care of my family.
- Once I'm done writing my list I see that the things that hold value for
me are to care about other people, do something that makes me feel like I make
a difference, use my knowledge of medicine and health to create solutions to
problems, be able to have the flexibility to spend time with my family, and
make an income that provides for our needs and enjoyment.
- What sticks out to me on the list is the central theme
about working with people to make a difference with the knowledge and skills
I posses.
- My action is to find a job, a volunteer organization, or
start a business where I can impact the lives of others using my medical
background that will provide a living to support my family.
- I'm going to start a business to help people take
control of their health. With this being my purpose it will guide
the decisions I make, influence how I spend my time and efforts, and
impact how I'm able to support my family.
This example was very generic, but your purpose can be very
specific. The importance of the exercise is to understand that we have to
be driven by something in life. We have to have a reason for taking a
breath every day, for choosing how our kids will see us, and to live life using
your gifts and talents so you won't have regrets about what you could have
done.
4. Be Tenacious
Tenacity means not easily pulled apart, tending to cling especially to
another substance, persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something
valued or desired.
Creating your "Mindset for Success" is similar to building a
strong foundation on which a house is built. It will be the mechanism to
support additions to the structure, weather storms adequately, and keep you
secure for years to come. If you want to be successful you have to build
the same strong and sturdy resolve to follow your dreams that will result in
your success.
During the initial construction you laid out the boards of emotional
intelligence. That was so you could create a framework that wouldn't
buckle under the pressures of emotional challenges. Then you took out the
blueprints and tried to see the lines, but the page had been smeared. You
had a deadline for this project, and knew you had to rely on your own
skills. You took out your pen and sketched out the missing components, so
the job could be completed on time.
The next day you unveiled a sign that was going to stand in front of this new
home. It wasn't going to be like all the other homes on the block.
It had been built with many rooms, a large kitchen with plenty of room for a
family, and an extra large laundry room that could fit three sets of washing
machines. As you removed the packaging from the sign it said “A New Day
Home - A place for transitioning mothers of domestic violence". This
house had a purpose, to care for these women in transition by providing
a safe and warm home where they could start to get back on their feet.
On this journey, you
experienced challenges with not enough supplies and missing information, but
you knew there were some women struggling to get to a safe place with their
children. Therefore, you worked long hours; you used your ingenuity, and
remained dedicated to getting this home built on time. You were tenacious
in building this amazing structure. On the day the front door opened, you
were there to see the smiles on those ladies faces who would be the residents
and heard the pitter-patter of their kids little feet running through the
halls. Your hard work and dedication resulted in this successful outcome.
Being a success takes
work, but more importantly it calls for an inner strength that requires you to
weather the storms of life, be resourceful with limited support, keep your eyes
on the prize, and have the "intestinal fortitude" to keep going,
so you achieve the impact and success that makes a difference.
5. Act with Integrity
Being successful is a result of our thoughts and motivations.
How we achieve that success also involves our actions. I put the
definition above for the final ingredient along with a picture that holds
symbolic meaning for me in regards to ethics and honor. The final
ingredient or step for "Creating a Mindset for Success" is
Integrity.
How we interact with others is crucial to our success.
Granted, I'm sure we can all name plenty of people that have worked their
way to the top who might not hold this value close to their heart. Those
people still have to look in the mirror in the morning, and no one knows how
they feel looking back at a person who doesn't have integrity. Here's a
quick story.
It was part of this company's leadership program for all
managers to go through specific training to learn skills, and be in step with
the culture of the company. On the first day of the class there was an
agreement that was made that allowed the managers to speak freely without
reprisal. As the week progressed there were a number of discussions concerning
payroll, computer systems, and staff. During one of these discussions a manager
in attendance started making disparaging remarks about one of their employees.
Some people looked uncomfortable because the employee being discussed was
known to be a hard worker.
After the meeting that night, one of the managers who'd been
disturbed by the whole event found the employee, and had a pep talk without
providing any details of the earlier conversation. This manager felt it
was their duty to look out for the best interest of this employee.
Eventually word got back to the other manager who reported this to their
superior, and the manager who had d the discussion with the employee was forced
out of the company.
Where does integrity fit in this story? Who's doing right
and who's doing wrong? Sometimes there are difficult situations we're
exposed to where we have to act with our belief of integrity. Those
actions should represent a consistent track record of responding in the same
manner to create positive outcomes. Achieving success is a process that
involves our entire being from our thoughts, to our emotions, to our
motivations, and results in the actions people see. You can create a
foundation for your success by adopting this 5 step method that will result in
achieving your dreams while remaining true to yourself.
